What started in my life (much to my chagrin initially) for me on December 1 2010, is now officially two months old tomorrow. I am talking about this journey called "marriage".
So thought of quickly preparing a report card for the past two months.
Alert :- Some sections below may contain free advice, that is potentially useful for other people girls who are "in the queue" to be married off by their parents and who are as confused and un-initiated as I was (dont worry, i haven't attained enlightenment yet, I continue to be in a state of confusion about many,or rather most things :D )
Ok, first quick status check -
Am I alive? Yes. *phew*
Am I sane? Sane enough to write this blog post, so you can make out how sane I am :D
Changes -
Now I live alone, i.e. I live in a house where there are no parents (can you imagine that? you have to). Its been a BIG leap to not have someone around always to whom you can put forth all the little and big ideas,questions,triumphs,mistakes,fears and joys.
I cook my own food. Its not the ability to cook that has changed. I have sat on a mental "comfort" pillow, that I have someone who will bring me my food in case I dont take/make it myself. But no longer. That shadow like feeling of "I am there" that a mother gives, is gone. You have to pick up your dinner yourselves. If you dont, two days later, you still have to pick up your dinner yourself. Only you will be that much more hungrier.
I now cater to guests!
These have been the three major changes, minor ones are more of mental realizations like
a) packing your suitcase is no longer a fun group activity with your sister that you do for a vacation;
b) listening to music without headphones is no longer accepted by people around you because you are not among like minded people anymore;
c) you dont wake up to warm smiles and a cup of bournvita, you only wake up to a hungry stomach and a house that needs to be cleaned.
The wall clock in my house has taken the role of my mom, it wakes me up and gently comforts me to sleep. and reminds me from time to time what i need to do. I wish the clock dint have to double up as my mom.
What I do well -
I manage to make food thats quite tasty.
I manage to ensure cleanliness in the house.
What I dont do well -
I struggle hard to manage time between house work and office work. I am eternally like this -"O I need to finish exploring that Java library"*runs to the computer* "O, I need to do the dishes" *runs to the kitchen* "O I need to complete that function I was writing" *runs to the computer again* "O I need to get milk for tomorrow" *runs to the store*.
Solution - strict rules on self not to slip up on timelines. Work while you work, play while you play - strictly tuning my mind to follow this.
I struggle hard to decide what to make for the next meal. and end up spending double the time alloted for cooking that meal.
Solution - Timetable of dishes for each session - breakfast,lunch,dinner. My father used to say - "The only way to avoid communication gap is to elimate communicating at all", meaning your actions should speak so loud that you dont need to speak a word that will get misrepresented. Same rule applies here. I dont have to decide at the kitchen table anymore. Seems to work so far.
What I have learnt -
a) It pays to be sincere
If you want something to happen, and you put your effort in the most sincere manner, the result will SURELY be what you want it to be. Luck and fate will submit in front of you.
b) umm, will update when I remember
Hey by the way its 1 O'Clock, and I am still hungry even after writing this blog post. My momClock is nudging me to go make something.
Bye then.
So thought of quickly preparing a report card for the past two months.
Alert :- Some sections below may contain free advice, that is potentially useful for other people
Ok, first quick status check -
Am I alive? Yes. *phew*
Am I sane? Sane enough to write this blog post, so you can make out how sane I am :D
Changes -
Now I live alone, i.e. I live in a house where there are no parents (can you imagine that? you have to). Its been a BIG leap to not have someone around always to whom you can put forth all the little and big ideas,questions,triumphs,mistakes,fears and joys.
I cook my own food. Its not the ability to cook that has changed. I have sat on a mental "comfort" pillow, that I have someone who will bring me my food in case I dont take/make it myself. But no longer. That shadow like feeling of "I am there" that a mother gives, is gone. You have to pick up your dinner yourselves. If you dont, two days later, you still have to pick up your dinner yourself. Only you will be that much more hungrier.
I now cater to guests!
These have been the three major changes, minor ones are more of mental realizations like
a) packing your suitcase is no longer a fun group activity with your sister that you do for a vacation;
b) listening to music without headphones is no longer accepted by people around you because you are not among like minded people anymore;
c) you dont wake up to warm smiles and a cup of bournvita, you only wake up to a hungry stomach and a house that needs to be cleaned.
The wall clock in my house has taken the role of my mom, it wakes me up and gently comforts me to sleep. and reminds me from time to time what i need to do. I wish the clock dint have to double up as my mom.
What I do well -
I manage to make food thats quite tasty.
I manage to ensure cleanliness in the house.
What I dont do well -
I struggle hard to manage time between house work and office work. I am eternally like this -"O I need to finish exploring that Java library"*runs to the computer* "O, I need to do the dishes" *runs to the kitchen* "O I need to complete that function I was writing" *runs to the computer again* "O I need to get milk for tomorrow" *runs to the store*.
Solution - strict rules on self not to slip up on timelines. Work while you work, play while you play - strictly tuning my mind to follow this.
I struggle hard to decide what to make for the next meal. and end up spending double the time alloted for cooking that meal.
Solution - Timetable of dishes for each session - breakfast,lunch,dinner. My father used to say - "The only way to avoid communication gap is to elimate communicating at all", meaning your actions should speak so loud that you dont need to speak a word that will get misrepresented. Same rule applies here. I dont have to decide at the kitchen table anymore. Seems to work so far.
What I have learnt -
a) It pays to be sincere
If you want something to happen, and you put your effort in the most sincere manner, the result will SURELY be what you want it to be. Luck and fate will submit in front of you.
b) umm, will update when I remember
Hey by the way its 1 O'Clock, and I am still hungry even after writing this blog post. My momClock is nudging me to go make something.
Bye then.
Poor baby!
ReplyDeleteReflecting my feelings in some matured way. Great vatsi!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIs that allll???waiting for a part 2. radha here.
ReplyDeletevery interesting blog awaiting more
ReplyDeletehey vats life is full of learning...we learn ,learn and learn ...i still am after 17years of marriage......u ll get the hang of handling it as u go on....u are doing magnificently so far.
ReplyDelete