Report Card : Two months over

What started in my life (much to my chagrin initially) for me on December 1 2010, is now officially two months old tomorrow. I am talking about this journey called "marriage".

So thought of quickly preparing a report card for the past two months.

Alert :- Some sections below may contain free advice, that is potentially useful for other people girls who are "in the queue" to be married off by their parents and who are as confused and un-initiated as I was (dont worry, i haven't attained enlightenment yet, I continue to be in a state of confusion about many,or rather most things :D )

Ok, first quick status check -

Am I alive?  Yes. *phew*
Am I sane? Sane enough to write this blog post, so you can make out how sane I am :D

Changes -
Now I live alone, i.e. I live in a house where there are no parents (can you imagine that? you have to). Its been a BIG leap to not have someone around always to whom you can put forth all the little and big ideas,questions,triumphs,mistakes,fears and joys.

I cook my own food. Its not the ability to cook that has changed. I have sat on a mental "comfort" pillow, that I have someone who will bring me my food in case I dont take/make it myself. But no longer. That shadow like feeling of "I am there" that a mother gives, is gone. You have to pick up your dinner yourselves. If you dont, two days later, you still have to pick up your dinner yourself. Only you will be that much more hungrier.

I now cater to guests!

These have been the three major changes, minor ones are more of mental realizations like
a) packing your suitcase is no longer a fun group activity with your sister that you do for a vacation;
b) listening to music without headphones is no longer accepted by people around you because you are not among like minded people anymore;
c) you dont wake up to warm smiles and a cup of bournvita, you only wake up to a hungry stomach and a house that needs to be cleaned.


The wall clock in my house has taken the role of my mom, it wakes me up and gently comforts me to sleep. and reminds me from time to time what i need to do. I wish the clock dint have to double up as my mom.


What I do well -
I manage to make food thats quite tasty.
I manage to ensure cleanliness in the house.

What I dont do well - 
I struggle hard to manage time between house work and office work. I am eternally like this -"O I need to finish exploring that Java library"*runs to the computer* "O, I need to do the dishes" *runs to the kitchen* "O I need to complete that function I was writing" *runs to the computer again* "O I need to get milk for tomorrow" *runs to the store*.
Solution - strict rules on self not to slip up on timelines. Work while you work, play while you play - strictly tuning my mind to follow this.

I struggle hard to decide what to make for the next meal. and end up spending double the time alloted for cooking that meal.
Solution - Timetable of dishes for each session - breakfast,lunch,dinner. My father used to say - "The only way to avoid communication gap is to elimate communicating at all", meaning your actions should speak so loud that you dont need to speak a word that will get misrepresented. Same rule applies here. I dont have to decide at the kitchen table anymore. Seems to work so far.

What I have learnt - 
a) It pays to be sincere
If you want something to happen, and you put your effort in the most sincere manner, the result will SURELY be what you want it to be. Luck and fate will submit in front of you.

b) umm, will update when I remember

Hey by the way its 1 O'Clock, and I am still hungry even after writing this blog post. My momClock is nudging me to go make something.

Bye then.

Receding Clouds of Happiness - ए बिखरते बादल, लौटके ज़रूर आना

Here is my next poem - or rather my attempt at poetry -
The poem is a sneak peek into a mind that is in love, and how it reacts to the fear of separation of the smallest order.

ए बिखरते बादल, लौटके ज़रूर आना
जब सूख रहा था धूप मे तब जिन्दगी के रंग से था अनजाना
फिर आया एक रुत परवाना कर गया अधूरेपन को बेगाना

डरावने काले घटा छाने लगे,फिर शुरु किया प्यार के बादलों ने रंग बरसानाआंगन मे फूल खिलने लगे, ऐसा सुकून कभी न था जाना

रूखे रूखे उन लम्हों को सिखाया इस सावन ने भुलाना
फिर अचानक आए सूर्य महाराज शुरु कर दिया इन बादलों को भगाना

डरता है मन कहीं ये वापस न आए, इस बदरा के नीचे है इस पन्छी को पंख फैलानाइन्तजार रहेगा इन काले मेघों का ,अगले बार लायें वो इससे भी सुन्दर नज़राना 

अम्बर को धरती से जोड दें, ले आके तोहफ़ा ऐसासतरंगी इन्द्रधनुष हो इतना सुहाना, जितनी बार भी देखूँ बन जाऊँ दीवाना 

ये सात रंग जुडके कभी न हों सफ़ेद, ऐसा वादा है इनको निभानाइस बगीचे मे अपना रंग ऐसा जमाना, कि चाहकर भी अम्बर और धरती को ना हो बिछडना 

अभी जा रहे हो तुम, ए प्यार के बादलों, याद रखना, इस बगीचे से है तुम्हे फिर गुज़रनाअगर भूल गये अपना वादा तो,
अम्बर और धरती के गुस्से मे, तुम्हे ज़रूर है मर मिटना

The line-by-line translation of the poem into English - 

ए बिखरते बादल, लौटके ज़रूर आना 

O Receding Clouds, Do come back again
जब सूख रहा था धूप मे, तब जिन्दगी के रंग से था अनजानाफिर आया एक रुत परवाना, कर गया अधूरेपन को बेगाना

When I was drying in the scorching sun, I was unaware of the colors of life
Then came a magical breeze,   and made my loneliness unknown to me.

डरावने काले घटा छाने लगे,फिर शुरु किया प्यार के बादलों ने रंग बरसानाआंगन मे फूल खिलने लगे, ऐसा सुकून कभी न था जाना

Fearful dark clouds began to cloud the sky, and began to shower the colors of love
Flowers started to blossom in my garden, a sense of calmness began to prevail ( in my listless mind)

रूखे रूखे उन लम्हों को, सिखाया इस सावन ने भुलानाफिर अचानक आए सूर्य महाराज शुरु कर दिया इन बादलों को भगाना

These showers have taught me to forget the drought that existed in my life
But suddenly came out the Sun, and started driving away these clouds

डरता है मन कहीं ये वापस न आए, इस बदरा के नीचे है इस पन्छी को पंख फैलानाइन्तजार रहेगा इन काले मेघों का ,अगले बार लायें वो इससे भी सुन्दर नज़राना

Mind fears that these clouds of happiness may not return,
For it wishes to open out its wings and fly among these clouds
The wait has begun for these clouds to return,
With a gift more beautiful

अम्बर को धरती से जोड दें, ले आके तोहफ़ा ऐसासतरंगी इन्द्रधनुष हो इतना सुहाना, जितनी बार भी देखूँ बन जाऊँ दीवाना

the Heaven and the Earth unite, such a gift it shall be
A rainbow so colorful,  the more I see it, the more I lose myself to it.

ये सात रंग जुडके कभी न हों सफ़ेद, ऐसा वादा है इनको निभानाइस बगीचे मे अपना रंग ऐसा जमाना, कि चाहकर भी अम्बर और धरती को ना हो बिछडना

These seven colours shall never fade into white-ness, such a promise they must make
Bind your colors with this garden, that Heaven and Earth should go apart even if they want to

अभी जा रहे हो तुम, ए प्यार के बादलों, याद रखना, इस बगीचे से है तुम्हे फिर गुज़रनाअगर भूल गये अपना वादा तो, अम्बर और धरती के गुस्से मे, तुम्हे ज़रूर है मर मिटना

Now you are passing away, O clouds of Love, Remember, Cross you must this garden one day or the other,
Lest you forget to keep you promise, prepare to get destroyed in the combined wrath of the Heaven and the Earth

And for people who cannot read hindi , transliteration of this poem in English -

Ae bikharthe baadhal, lautke zaroor aanaa
Jab sookh rahaa thaa dhoop me, tab zindagI ke rang se thaa anjaanaa
Fir aayaa ek ruth parvaanaa, kar gayaa adhoorepan ko begaanaa

Daraavane kaale ghataa chaane lage, fir shuru kiyaa pyaar ke baadalon ne rang barsaanaa
Aangan me phool khilne lage, aisaa sukoon kabhI na thaa jaanaa

Rookhe rookhe un lamhon ko, sikhaayaa is saavan ne bhulaanaa
Fir achaanak aaye soorya maharaaj, shuru kar diyaa in baadalon ko bhagaanaa

Darta hai man kahin ye vaapas na aaye, is badraa ke neeche hai is panchi ko pankh failaanaa
Intazaar rahegaa in kaale meghon kaa, agale baar laayen vo isse bhi sundar nazraanaa

Ambar ko dharthi se jod dhen, le aake tohfaa aisaa
Satrangi indradhanush ho itana suhaanaa, jitanii baar bhi dekhoon ban jaaoon deewaanaa

Ye saath rang judke kabhi na ho safed, aisaa vaadaa hai inko nibhaanaa
Is bageeche me apnaa rang aisaa jamaanaa, ki chahkar bhi ambar aur dharthi ko naa ho bicchadnaa

Abhi jaa rahe ho tum, ae pyaa ke baadalon, yaad rakhna, is bageeche se hai tumhe fir guzarnaa
Agar bhool gaye apnaa vaadaa to, ambar aur dharti ke gusse mein tumhe zaroor hai mar mitnaa

Image courtesy - http://www.flickr.com/photos/tuohimaa/48594729/sizes/o/in/photostream/