Saturday, December 9, 2017

Sense of Value and Worth - a Rat Race in itself

In today's modern day Indian society, women are being taught about a sense of value and worth that is measured by the money they earn on their own. Various practices that transpired in the 50-60 years prior to the turn of the century, have resulted in this scenario in which a woman who does not take up paid work assignments feels a reduced sense of worth and value.  I, my younger self, have gone through this state of mind, and it left me quite distressed. While it is a sound idea to instill a concept of self-esteem, the concept of hard work and working to earn your bread, generalisation of this idea has led to a mass mentality of aspirationalism - if that is a word. What is all this ranting driving at, you may ask... The fact that it is okay to be not working for money, even if it is for some duration of your life - has gotten buried and is getting lost in the minds of people in today's society. 

This ranting drives in the direction of my present state - I recently delivered a healthy baby boy. Mentally I have been preparing for the fact that this will mean that I will not have a 9-5 office schedule for a few years atleast. And I am glad that I have been able to develop that stable state of mind. I have been interacting with some mothers on a couple of community forums. The above rant emerges from the interactions I see in those forums. The quest for financial independence today is at a state where a child's need for its mother's attention and care in the early years of its life is a tradable commodity.  And because this has become a mindset at the societal level, it has become an accepted norm to find substitutes for all aspects of mothering. Starting right at the first touch point for the child - its food - breastmilk and breastfeeding.  I see enough mothers in the groups who even before delivering their child hope to substitute the breast with a nipple. The rat race driven way of life for the child begins right there when the mother keeps hoping that her child will accept a bottle with an artificial nipple on it. What bottle to buy, what size nipple to use, what type of pump to buy, what type of pump accessories to buy - these deliberations take up the entire mind space of a lot of new mothers today.  Having brought the child into this planet, the effort then begins to teach the child to go against its nature given knowledge of how to extract milk from a human nipple. From being a means to an end, this becomes the end itself, where people forget that one must attempt to feed the child directly when possible. I am not referring to the section of people who have medical compulsions to do so, I am referring to the majority of normal mothers who introduce their children to this rat race as early as 2-3 months because they have their own rat race to catch up with. And after the ordeal of getting the baby to accept the artificial nipple, the next immediate lament is that now the baby prefers the bottle over the breast!!

The point of this post is merely an observation of the state of the society today, and in no way an attempt to claim moral highground against these present practices. Just that as member of this society myself, I feel like a hypocrite when people cry loud against the industrial ways in which dairy farms extract milk from cows, and then in the same breath go about prescribing appropriate pump brands that will extract milk from yourself.

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Sunday, December 3, 2017

Let there be light

Anyone who has studied Mathematics or any other subject that inculcates deep problem solving techniques will know that most of the times, the way to find a solution to a problem is to define the problem statement very clearly and very precisely.

After reading my previous post about clueless helplessness, I received quite a lot of warm wishes from some good close friends, who were a bit taken aback by the gravity of the words used. I am happy to share that the outpouring(so to say) in the previous post fulfilled its purpose - helped me spell out my problem statement very clearly there by putting the focus light of my attention to solution.  The whole of last week I have been actively working to fix multiple items that have been constantly pushing me into a state of anxiety. Hope to see the benefits of the same soon.

Sharing here a picture of the Karthigai festival celebrations at my home today.

Inspite of having a child who is at an age where he needs constant attention, I was able to have a decent celebration after a series of flopped festival celebrations. The confidence and enthusiasm levels are quite a bit up compared to last week. Here's to a power packed December - and here's to getting things done and progressing in life no matter what impediments come my way. Lighting these lamps diligently has had a very soothing effect on my soul - I discovered this last year when we were thrown back to pre-electricity era for 15 days after the Vardah cyclone struck, and like the olden days we only had these oil lamps for illumination. Lamps do illuminate you from the inside - do try it out. Light a lamp every day - need not be in front of an idol if you sail on the atheism boat - see the transformation happen slowly but steadily.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Confused. Lost. Clueless.

Lost. Puzzled. Confused. Clueless. These are some of the words that describe my state of mind today. So far in the many years of existence, time and again life throws me into this spot where I have no clue how to respond or what to react to the scenario, where I feel like I am engulfed in pitch black darkness, with no idea of what to do at all - to breathe or not to breathe, to move my limbs or to shake my head. With much effort I put pieces together and break that spot, only to find myself in another spot of cluelessness of higher complexity. 

Totally tired of fighting this constant sense of darkness. Searching for that guiding light, guiding energy of my life. This post may not be of much meaning to the readers of this blog, but this is the only space where I can put this out. So bear with me and if you can, pray for me.

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Saturday, May 27, 2017

That moment had come...

I participated in a contest by and one of the tasks to be done to enter the contest was to write something quick in 15 minutes time. And here is the short story I came up with - 

That moment had come. He had given so much of himself to this... It was hard to believe that all his efforts were now coming together.  As he waited with a bated breath, the doctor came to him, and his bundle of joy was in his hands. Scrawny, and tiny. It had all seemed impossible just a some months ago. And then his thoughts veered towards his wife. Although full of life, this was one thing she had been very hopeless about. With a heart full of love and determination, she had turned around quite a few things in his family's life. But this. This had shaken her from within. And he had decided he wouldn't let her get shaken. It had taken days and many nights of consoling and pepping up to get her to the hospital, to face the batteries of tests, the endless hours of waiting in the hospital lobbies.  And finally, it had all come together. This was that golden moment to see the life they had created. Together. Just as he zoned out of these thoughts and zoned back into the baby in his arms, there was hurried activity in the labour room. His stomach tightened, there was no news of her. He had been carried away with the child in his arms. After a number of nurses running in and out, the doctor came out and told him that it was almost over, and his wife wanted to see him.  His heart sank.  Rushing into the room, he saw her lying helplessly. But he wouldn't let The story end this way. He held her hand and whispered in her ears.. "Don't do this,to me, to us, and to the baby. Forever, together, triumphant". And that was the what she needed. That reassurance. She smiled, and her vitality monitors smiled as well. Yet again, he had brought her back on track.  Theirs was love story, unparalleled. Full of opposites, but all the more reason to stick together.

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