Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Changes in the course of my life

I was reading this post by Vijay Varadan about how he closed down his game development studio about less than a month ago, and how he is dealing with giving up something he held very close to his heart.

Which brought me back to, well, myself. Since the time I joined school as a 3 year old kid, I have always been working on or towards something. The workaholic DNA inherited from both my parents meant that even during the summer holidays during school/college, after the minimum obligatory lazing around, you would find me pottering around with some hobby or the other, if not anything else.

For a soul like one described above, it is a very crushing feeling to wake up to deal with a routine that looks like this -> No office, no class. Just wake up, cook your food, clean up your surroundings, take rest and get back to sleep in the night. But, I did, I took the leap and quit my job at Jombay in early May due to climbing health issues being the top reason for the decision. My funda was simple - from my persistent visits to the doctor's clinic, I realized I dont have eternity to live my dreams and ideals and that Life is Short. Yes, we read it day in and day out, but it strikes you like a lightning when it happens in real life. Dont worry reader, I dont have any terminal disease or cancer or something, it is my thyroid gland that has landed me into this state of introspection.

So that's it. I quit the one thing that I was doing reasonably well among a lot of my endeavours. It is going to be 4 months now, and I realised these things about myself --

1) I am very bad at selling anything that I have created or belongs to me. Sales is  very tough art and people working in sales should be treated with absolute respect.
2) Programming a computer day in and day out has made me friendlier with machines than people, in short I had forgotten what it was to be a human being. To sense what is going on around you. To trust the being in front of your eyes, and just ask a question.

I also went back to my drawing board to see what else was there that defined me, that could still be pursued while attending to health matters and the answer was clear. How many times I had mentioned this in my 'About Me' introductions, but I had gone blank when push came to shove. Sanskrit. Yes, I am now pursuing an MA in Sanskrit at Pune University followed by a study of linguistics.

I haven't written any code since May this year, not that I dont want to, but just that I want to take a break. And anyway, my mind is so wired around programming now that even though I dont type out the code on a screen, my mind keeps working out algorithms one way or the other, so this break is only for the hands and eyes. I have stepped up blogging(more to record experiences), outdoor activity, photography and this thing called hanging around with friends just like that for sheer fun, basically anything that will revive the human in me.

The Mister, as always, has handholded me through this entire decision, and now enjoys unparalleled attention, now that gadgets have been given a secondary state in my life.

So that is about it, I am now a programmer on a sabbatical who is pursuing an MA in Sanskrit.